How Do I End My Situationship?
Written by Kendall Sapiro, Junior Psychotherapist at Wavelength Psychotherapy
KEY POINTS:
Situationship meaning.
Definition of breadcrumbing, ghosting, and prolonged texting.
Hiding behind our phones can feel easier than facing reality.
Be direct and establish boundaries and expectations instead.
We’re living in a time of unprecedented anonymity. Dating apps, Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok help us keep people at a distance. These apps allow us to hide behind our phones, which is a lot easier than facing reality.
In a time when swiping has replaced meet-cutes, casual relationships have never been easier or more accepted.
So, What Is a Situationship?
The definition of a situationship is a casual or undefined relationship in which the commitment and expectations are unclear. While situationships can provide temporary companionship, they may lack the depth and clarity desired for long-term fulfillment. As the “you up?” text becomes more common, so does the dream for something more.
It’s only natural for you to outgrow your situationship. Relationships like this may not always be sustainable as it’s human nature to want more. But how do we end something that may not feel real to begin with? Unfortunately, it’s not at all uncommon to take the easy way out. Whether it’s breadcrumbing, ghosting, or some late-night texting, all of us have fallen prey to non-ideal ways of ending a relationship. First, let’s break down what each of these patterns are.
What Is Breadcrumbing?
Breadcrumbing: Have you ever gotten the vibe that someone you’re seeing just isn’t that into you anymore? Maybe they start taking a few hours or days to respond to you or just start texting you late at night instead of for dates. This is called “breadcrumbing,” and it refers to when someone gives you, or you give someone, just enough to keep them on your hook but not enough to actually sustain whatever dynamic you previously had.
What Is Ghosting?
Ghosting: This may be the most common way to end something with a casual someone. We have all experienced getting ghosted or ghosting someone. Maybe the hard conversation just doesn’t seem worth the awkwardness, or maybe you just don’t care enough to text. Vanishing into thin air like a ghost may seem like the easiest, best option.
What Is Prolonged Texting?
Prolonged Texting: It can be easy to hope something will work rather than cut the person off. I get it; cutting someone off is hard. Who can help themselves from the occasional social media stalk or text to their ex when they’re bored or lonely?
What I just outlined are the easy ways out—the things you can do to avoid the hard conversation. This fear of conflict that’s becoming all the more prominent can lead us to hurt someone, leaving loose ends and even more questions.
How to End a Situationship
By approaching the end of a situationship with empathy and clear communication, you can foster respect and emotional well-being for both parties involved. Let’s explore some practical steps to navigate this process with integrity.
Reflect on Your Decision.
Take time to reflect on your decision and gather your thoughts.
Are you genuinely ready to end this relationship?
Have you considered your own needs and desires?
Are you committed to handling this with maturity and respect?
Approaching the decision with clarity and confidence is essential to ending a situationship in a healthy way. While it’s important to trust your gut and not lead someone on, make sure you know what you’re doing so you don’t confuse the person or yourself even more.
Choose Direct Communication.
When ending things with anyone, it’s important to communicate directly and honestly. Methods like ghosting and breadcrumbing can lead to confusion and feelings of hurt, making them an unhealthy and ineffective approach to a situationship breakup. Whether you want to have the conversation in person, over FaceTime, or over text, make sure you choose the method you think is most appropriate given your dynamic.
When having the conversation, keep the following in mind to be respectful and allow both parties to move forward:
Use “I” statements to convey your own experiences and avoid making any accusations.
Clearly communicate what you want without leaving room for ambiguity.
Focus on your own needs and desires instead of criticizing the other person.
Show Empathy and Kindness.
Ending a situationship can be difficult for both parties involved. While you may have made up your mind, it's crucial to approach the situation with empathy and kindness. Part of today’s dating culture is hiding how you’re feeling from the person you’re seeing, so make sure you’re sensitive to how the other person may feel about you.
Establish Boundaries and Expectations.
As you transition out of the conversation and your situationship, it’s important to establish clear boundaries and expectations. Maybe you never want to talk again. Maybe you want to try being friends (granted both parties are willing and ready). This clarity will help both individuals navigate the post-situationship phase.
Ending a situationship without resorting to ghosting is an act of integrity and respect. Reflecting on your decision, communicating directly, showing empathy and kindness, and establishing boundaries and expectations let you navigate the process maturely and support emotional well-being for all. Open communication and empathy are key to fostering healthy connections, even when the relationship is coming to an end. Remember the golden rule and think about how good it will feel knowing you did the right thing.
Kendall
Kendall Sapiro is an associate therapist at Wavelength Psychotherapy located in downtown Manhattan and NJ! Her therapeutic approach is highly motivational and fun, and she absolutely loves working with all of her fabulous patients. After work, you can find her walking the dogs she babysits, trying out new restaurants with friends, and getting outside as much as she can!
